Australians often claim that their neighbors in New Zealand are a bit slow and this story will only reinforce this commonly held belief:
Arthur Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police last month to tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent assistance.
Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.
"I’ll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he’s pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I’m pretty all right you know. I didn’t hurt my bum at all."
Unsurprisingly police claim alcohol was involved in then incident. Here is a word of advice to anyone in the future that wants to claim they were raped by an animal, at least claim you were raped by an animal that is native to your country. Wombats are a marsupial native to Australia and are not found in New Zealand, but then again I guess claiming to be raped by kiwi would be even less believable.